Have you ever got up in the morning and felt like Sleeping Beauty?  I feel like I just lost a huge chunk of my life.  Except, for me, there were no good fairies to put the entire kingdom to sleep so that life would just continue on from where it left off in Disney-style bliss where the biggest concern of the day was whether my dress should be pink or blue.

I suppose a trip to Mars is a better description.  My friends and family are still here, but they’ve changed, and I’ve changed, and nothing feels the same anymore.  Everything looks the same, but it almost seems like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone, and there’s something just slightly off about things that were so familiar.

I’ve given myself permission to be myself.  Who is that?  It’s the question that I haven’t been brave enough to ask myself since I left the church.  Not in earnest anyway.  I was/am afraid of the answer.  That maybe the answer won’t be acceptable to myself, or those closest to me.  I’ve spent a lot of effort in trying to be what I thought other people thought I should be.  The LDS church, my family, friends, significant others.  It’s time to stop trying and just be.

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