I saw it today, as I predicted.  It was a little sooner than expected, but that’s always how it happens: the picture of him with the ex-girlfriend that I’m sure he’ll get back with and probably marry.  (It’s happened before that I date someone and then they realize that the X really was “the one” and go back to her.)  Which I’m totally cool with!!  Because, I want him to be happy, and I could see that he was still in love her while we were… together-ish.  The really strange part is the feeling that blindsided me when I saw it.  Hurts!! Jealousy? Self-pity? Loneliness?  Check.  And, then I dissolve into a puddle of lameness.  Then follows self-analysis of all past relationships, consideration of my own brokenness, self-blame, and all the ridiculousness that accompanies wallowing.

But, really, why should that affect me so strongly when someone I knew wasn’t right for me and I wasn’t right for him finds happiness, or at least my assumption of potential happiness?  And, I am happy for him.  At least that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.  And, I’m going to get back out there, hopefully not too desperately…

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