…that is the question all post-Mormons must answer.

“Of course. That’s why I left.”

“Absolutely not. Mormonism taught me something.”

(or other reasons)

What is my decision, and what are my reasons?  I still don’t know.  I’ve experimented.  I’ve pushed my limits, so now I know where they are.  I’ve explored.  I know some of my preferences.  And, I like it.  I enjoy having a glass of wine every now and then.  I love a good whiskey sour on a hot summer day.  I am still a bit worried about the health aspects of drinking alcohol.  Yes, I do think there are some benefits, but are they outweighed by the health risks?  I’m still not terribly clear on that.  There was a period of time where I was pretty insistant about having something to drink once a week just to remind myself that I was still ok with it.  I don’t feel that need anymore, and I don’t drink very often.  So, does that make me a social drinker, once in a whiler?  Labels and cultural references to cocktails and other alcohol related topics are still a bit of a mystery to me, but not as much as they used to be.  But, knowing what a lush is when somebody teases me of being one isn’t the reason I would continue drinking.

And, I still wonder if culturally it’s easier for me to abstain.  It’s pretty difficult to imagine serving wine at my wedding with my family there.  And, I still hide my wine bottles where they cannot be seen by any who enter my house.  It feels somehow shameful to have a good cabernet squirreled away under my bed or other dark place where it won’t be found.

Is it a question that’s worth answering?  Or maybe I just go about my life and if the opportunity comes I can decide in the moment.  Although, that little Mormon conscience is still there telling me I should feel guilty for drinking that.  Will I ever stop thinking twice before I accept a glass of wine offered me?  Should I?

Still don’t know…